Poops & More Poops!

Ok, I think my child is smarter than I'm giving her credit for. She is out to get me with her poopy diapers!

*Khloe has a thing with pooping at church. If she doesn't full on poop, she's always VERY gassy and if any of you have spent any time with her, you'd know that she has quite the fragrant and LOUD bottom. I always say she has the butt of a man! One week, she was tooting up a storm during a prayer and gassin' out everyone around us. Of course 20 minutes later she actually got the job done and smelled even worse! Thankfully she had a super cute hairbow in that day and the sweet ladies behind us were distracted by her beauty, not her scent! We struggle to get to church by 11:00 every Sunday. Our church has a great band that plays really awesome music at the start of service. I love standing and worshiping to the music before sitting down for the sermon. Well, when you are usually late to church, it's hard to enjoy the music if you miss it! This past week we walked in after the music had started, and I was sweating by the time we got to our seats. As I take Khloe out of her car seat, I realize...you guessed it...she pooped! So, I walk all the way back down (our church is like a huge theatre with LOTS of seats) to the lobby and make my way to the bathroom carrying my stinky child and the diaper bag, get her changed, myself cleaned up, and back up into our seats promptly to hear the last note of the last song. And of course, dripping in even more sweat than before. Whew!

*Today we ventured out to Wal-Mart for a few necessities. I have been frequenting Target lately instead of Wal-Mart because it seems so much cleaner. Well, I can never leave Target without spending a small fortune and Wal-Mart is slightly closer to our house, so Wal-Mart it was. On our way there, I hear my sweet, little, darling cherub in the back seat grunting. Ugh, she's pooping! I thought, ok, I'll just change her in the car before going in and avoid a terrifying public bathroom experience. (Again, anyone who knows me would know that I HATE public bathrooms and avoid them at all costs...especially Wal-Mart's bathroom...GROSS). But, being the intelligent gal that I am, I forget to change her in the car, head into the store, get a cart, get ourselves situated and start filling my cart before I remember & smell that Khloe has a poopy diaper! Ugh again! Off to the public bathroom we go! I walk all the way to the front of the store cringing every step of the way. Get to the front and read a sign on the restroom that says, "Family Restrooms at Back of Store" so I think to myself, they've got to be cleaner and less frequented. SO...we head to the back of the store, where I find a lovely gentlemen cleaning the family restroom and of course, it's closed. Darn, just a few minutes too early. I head into the plain old women's restroom at the back of the store (still hoping it's cleaner than the very popular front of the store restroom) and reach for the changing station. Of course I have to set Khloe's carseat down on the bathroom floor, gagging all the while. I see a sign that says "For your convenience, disposable changing pads located in the disenser on the wall." Great, I think...I don't have to waste one of my very expensive, personal, disposable changing pads. Of course, the very convenient dispenser on the wall is emtpy. Ok, I'll dig out on of my own pads. I start to dig through the diaper bag for a disposable changing pad before realizing I used 2 on our last outing and never replenished the diaper bag. Great. There's no way in heck I'm putting my kid down on that changing table without some sort of a barrier. So, I look around and find the paper towel dispenser. Needless to say, it takes quite a few paper towels to cover a changing table, but I'm a determined mother. So I fill the changing table up with paper towels, lay the babe on the table and begin changing her. At this point I'm making every effort to keep her flailing arms and legs from touching any uncovered part of this disgusting changing table. (I'm fairly certain it hasn't been cleaned since the installation date, God knows when). Khloe is kicking paper towels onto the floor left and right, I'm trying to keep her feet out of her poop, her hands off of the changing table, and laughing at the show we're putting on! Mind you I have our giant duffel bag/diaper bag strapped to me like a college student...Lord knows I wasn't putting it on the floor! As if this poop story isn't long enough, it gets worse. I'm pulling wipes out of our travel wipes container trying to get her cleaned up and realize I've used the last wipe...and she's not clean yet. Lovely, so I dig through the already used wipes and look for the cleanest one to finish up the job. At this point, I just want to get out of this bathroom & never return. I finally get all of the goo cleaned up and get some A&D on my finger and head for Khloe's now red bottom...well, I fling the ointment onto the back of the changing table, and want to cry. I get another load of ointment on my finger & get the child dressed and get the "heck out of Dodge". I was of course out of wipes so I headed to the baby section to get myself a wipe to clean off Khloe's hands and feet, God forbid they actually touched part of that filth! It takes me about 5 minutes to pull the wipe out of the handy little container & I'm throwing the little pieces that are ripping off onto the ground, in haste. I had a long list of things I wanted to get for groceries and a few new recipes I was going to try. Needless to say after this experience, I head for the bread, milk, and formula and bee-lined for the nearest checkout. I had had enough shopping for one day!